前言:本篇为书籍《The Element of Style》第二章的阅读笔记。
本书电子版链接:http://www.jlakes.org/ch/web/The-elements-of-style.pdf
- 章节 I Elementary Rules of Usage 阅读笔记:链接
Content
- II Elementary Principles of Composition
- 12. Choose a suitable design and hold to it. (P26)
- 13. Make the paragraph the unit of composition. (P26 - P28)
- 14. Use the active voice. (P28 - P29)
- 15. Put statements in positive form. (P29 - P30)
- 16. Use definite, specific, concrete language. (P30 - P32)
- 17. Omit needless words. (P32-P33)
- 18. Avoid a succession of loose sentences. (P33 - P34)
- 19. Express coordinate ideas in similar form. (P35 - P36)
- 20. Keep related words together. (P36 - P38)
- 21. In summaries, keep to one tense. (P38 - P39)
- 22. Place the emphatic words of a sentence at the end. (P39 - P40)
II Elementary Principles of Composition
12. Choose a suitable design and hold to it. (P26)
即:选择一种恰如其分的构思并坚持下去
每一个写作都有一种基本的构思。写作者会在一定程度上遵循这个构思,并会根据他们的技能、需要和创作行为中发生的意外事件进行偏离。 为了有效的写作,必须密切跟随作者的思想,但不一定要按照这些思想发生的顺序进行。这需要一种程序方案。在某些情况下,最好的构思是没有构思,如情书,只是一种倾诉,或如随笔,是一种漫步。但在大多数情况下,计划必须成为写作的一个故意前奏。因此,作文的第一个原则是预见或确定未来内容的形状并追求它。
十四行诗建立在一个14行的框架上,每行五个韵脚。因此,诗人们知道他们要去哪里,尽管他们可能不知道如何到达那里。大多数创作形式的定义不太明确、更为灵活,但都有骨架,作者会为其注入血肉之躯。作者越清楚地理解这个结构,作品成功的机会就越大。
13. Make the paragraph the unit of composition. (P26 - P28)
即:把段落作为文章的基本单位
段落是一种方便的单位,它适用于所有文学作品。只要连贯一致,一个段落的长度可以任意 - 可以是一个单独的短句,也可以是一个跨度比较大的长篇幅文本。
如果你要写的主题范围很小,或者你打算简要处理它,就可能没有必要将其划分为多个主题。因此,诸如简短的描述、简短的书评、单个事件的简短记录、对一个动作的简要概述、对一个简明观点的阐述 — — 都最好用单一段落来描写。写完一个段落后,检查一下看是否将其拆分成多个段落会更好。
然而,通常来说,主题需要划分为多个话题,每个话题应该在一个段落中进行处理。在单独的段落中处理每个话题的目的,当然是为了帮助读者(更好地理解作者的意思)。每个段落的开头都是一个信号,表明主题的发展已经迈出了新的一步。
通常情况下,单个句子不应构成一个段落,一个例外情况是过渡句:指明表达或争论的各个部分之间的关系。
在对话场景中,每个发言,即使只有一个单词,通常也应该单独成段;也就是说,当发言者改变时,新的段落就应该开启。当对话和叙事结合在一起时,应用此规则的最佳方法是通过精心编辑的小说作品来学习示范。有时,为了创造快言快语的交谈效果或出于其他原因,作家会选择不在单独的段落中设置每个发言,而是将发言串联在一起。然而,通常的惯例以及大多数情况下最好的情况是给每个发言单独的段落。
通常情况下,每个段落应该以一个暗示主题的句子或帮助过渡的句子开头。如果一个段落是更大作品的一部分,它与前面的内容的关系或作为整体的一部分的功能可能需要表达出来。这有时可以通过在第一句中添加简短的单词或短语(如 again,therefore,for the same reason)来完成。然而,有时候通过一两句介绍或过渡的话来缓慢地进入主题是可行的。
在叙述和描述中,段落有时以一个简洁的、全面的陈述句开头,以此表明后面的细节属于一个整体,(也就是我们所说的“总——分”结构)示例:
-
The breeze served us admirably.
-
The campaign opened with a series of reverses.
-
The next ten or twelve pages were filled with a curious set of entries.
但当这种(总分)结构被过度使用时,它就会变成一种风格习惯。更常见的情况是,起始句仅仅通过它的主题指示段落的方向,示例:
-
At length I thought I might return toward the stockade.
-
He picked up the heavy lamp from the table and began to explore.
-
Another flight of steps, and they emerged on the roof.
在生动的叙述中,段落往往很短,并且没有任何主题句的相似之处,作者匆忙地向前冲,事件紧随其后。这样的段落之间的分隔仅仅起到修辞暂停的作用,将动作的某个细节突出显示出来。
总之,要记住:段落需要好的视觉观感和逻辑思维。大块的印刷品对读者来说看起来不可战胜,读者常常不情愿去处理它们。因此,将长段落一分为二,即使在意义、含义或逻辑发展上并不需要这样做,也经常是利于视觉效果的。但也要记住,频繁使用短段落可能会分散注意力。仅仅为了展示而采用的段落分隔符看起来像是商业写作或展示广告。行文中分段主要考虑适度和有序感。
14. Use the active voice. (P28 - P29)
即:使用主动语态
主动语态通常比被动语态更直接、更有力,示例:
-
I shall always remember my first visit to Boston.
上述表述优于:
- My first visit to Boston will always be remembered by me.
后一句话不如前一句话直接、大胆、简洁。如果作者尝试通过省略“by me”这部分来使其更简洁,这句话的意思就会变得不明确:
- My first visit to Boston will always be remembered,
是作者、某个不具名的人,还是整个世界都将永远记得这次访问呢?
这一规则并不是要作者永远地摒弃被动语态,因为被动语态经常很方便,有也是必要的,示例:
-
The dramatists of the Restoration are little esteemed today.
-
Modern readers have little esteem for the dramatists of the Restoration.
在讲述复辟时期戏剧家的段落里,第一种语态较为适合,而讲述现代读者口味的段落里,第二语态则更为适宜。正如这些例子中的情况,句子中主语的选择对于语态具有决定性作用。
习惯性的使用主动语态会使写作更有力量,这不仅适用于主要涉及动作的叙述,也适用于任何形式的写作。许多平淡无奇的描述或阐述语句可以通过用主动语态的及物动词替换一些敷衍的表达如 there is
或 could be heard
,以使其更加生动有力,示例:
-
There were a great number of dead leaves lying on the ground. 应改为:
-
Dead leaves covered the ground.
-
At dawn the crowing of a rooster could be heard. 应改为:
-
The cock's crow came with dawn.
-
The reason he left college was that his health became impaired. 应改为:
-
Failing health compelled him to leave college.
-
It was not long before she was very sorry that she had said what she had. 应改为:
-
She soon repented her words.
注意,在上述示例中,当一个句子变得更有力量时,通常也会变得更短。因此,简洁是力量的副产品。
15. Put statements in positive form. (P29 - P30)
即:使用肯定的语态进行陈述
做出明确的断言。避免使用暖淡、模棱两可、不表态的语言。使用not
这个词来表示否定或对立,而不要将其作为逃避的方法。
-
He was not very often on time. 应改为:
-
He usually came late.
-
She did not think that studying Latin was a sensible way to use one’s time. 应改为:
-
She thought the study of Latin a waste of time.
-
The Taming of the Shrew is rather weak in spots. Shakespeare does not portray Katharine as a very admirable character, nor does Bianca remain long in memory as an important character in Shakespeare’s works. 应改为:
-
The women in The Taming of the Shrew are unattractive. Katharine is disagreeable, Bianca insignificant.
最后一个示例,在修改前是不明确且消极的。因此,更正后的版本只是对作者意图的猜测。
上述三个例子全部显示了 not
一词固有的弱点。不论有意无意,读者不满足于只被告知“不是”什么的东西;读者希望被告知“是”什么的东西。因此,作为一项规则,最好以积极的形式表达否定。
- not honest 应改为:dishonest
- not important 应改为:trifling
- did not remember 应改为:forgot
- did not pay any attention to 应改为:ignored
- did not have much confidence in 应改为:distrusted
将消极和积极置于对立面可以形成更强大的结构,示例:
-
Not charity, but simple justice.
-
Not that I loved Caesar less, but that I loved Rome more.
-
Ask not what your country can do for you — ask what you can do for your country.
相较于“not”,其他否定词语通常语气更加强烈,示例:
-
Her loveliness I never knew / Until she smiled on me.
被不必要的助动词和条件从句所限定的陈述句听起来优柔寡断,示例:
-
If you would let us know the time of your arrival, we would be happy to arrange your transportation from the airport.
-
If you will let us know the time of your arrival, we shall be happy to arrange your transportation from the airport.
-
Applicants can make a good impression by being neat and punctual.
-
Applicants will make a good impression if they are neat and punctual.
-
Plath may be ranked among those modem poets who died young.
-
Plath was one of those modern poets who died young.
如果你写的每一句话都令人怀疑,你的文章就会缺乏权威性。只有对于的确无法确定的情况,才使用这些助动词:would
, should
, could
, may
, might
, can
.
16. Use definite, specific, concrete language. (P30 - P32)
即:使用详尽、明确、具体的语言
化通用为特定,化模糊为明确,化抽象为具体。
-
A period of unfavorable weather set in. 应改为:
-
It rained every day for a week.
-
He showed satisfaction as he took possession of his well-earned reward. 应改为:
-
He grinned as he pocketed the coin.
如果那些研究过写作艺术的人在某一点上是一致的,那就是:唤起和吸引读者注意力的最可靠方法是具体、明确和具体。最伟大的作家——荷马、但丁、莎士比亚——之所以令人印象深刻,很大程度上是因为他们处理细节并报告重要的细节。他们的话唤起了画面。
以更现代一点的作家 Jean Stafford 为例,在她的短篇小说《In the Zoo》中展示了散文是如何通过使用唤起图像和感觉的文字来变得生动的:
-
… Daisy and I in time found asylum in a small menagerie down by the railroad tracks. It belonged to a gentle alcoholic ne’er-do- well, who did nothing all day long but drink bathtub gin in rickeys and play solitaire and smile to himself and talk to his animals. He had a little, stunted red vixen and a deodorized skunk, a parrot from Tahiti that spoke Parisian French, a woebegone coyote, and two capuchin monkeys, so serious and humanized, so small and sad and sweet, and so religious-looking with their tonsured heads that it was impossible not to think their gibberish was really an ordered language with a grammar that someday some philologist would understand.
-
Gran knew about our visits to Mr. Murphy and she did not object, for it gave her keen pleasure to excoriate him when we came home. His vice was not a matter of guesswork; it was an established fact that he was half-seas over from dawn till midnight. “With the black Irish,” said Gran, “the taste for drink is taken in with the mother’s milk and is never mastered. Oh, I know all about those promises to join the temperance movement and not to touch another drop. The way to Hell is paved with good intentions.”*
-
(* Excerpt from “In the Zoo” from Bad Characters by Jean Stafford. Copyright © 1964 by Jean Stafford. Copyright renewed © 1992 by Nora Cosgrove. Reprinted by permission of Farrar, Straus & Giroux, Inc. Also copyright © 1969 by Jean Stafford; reprinted by permission of Curtis Brown, Ltd.)
如果说 Walter Mitty、Molly Bloom、Rabbit Angstrom 的经历在无数读者看来是真实的,那么在阅读福克纳的作品时,我们几乎有一种在南方衰落期间居住在约克纳帕托法县的感觉,那是因为所使用的细节是明确的,术语是具体的。并不是说每一个细节都被给出——这是不可能的,也没有目的——而是所有重要的细节都被给出,而且如此准确和有力,以至于读者可以在想象中将自己投射到场景中。
在阐述和论证中,作者同样必须永远不要失去对具体内容的把握;即使在处理一般原则时,作者也必须提供其应用的具体实例。
Herbert Spencer 在他的《Philosophy of Style》一书中用两句话来说明如何将模糊和一般变成生动而特殊:
-
In proportion as the manners, customs, and amusements of a nation are cruel and barbarous, the regulations of its penal code will be severe.
-
In proportion as men delight in battles, bullfights, and combats of gladiators, will they punish by hanging, burning, and the rack.
为了展示当强大的写作被剥夺活力时会发生什么,George Orwell 曾经从圣经中摘取一段话,并抽干了它的血液。左边,下面是 George Orwell 的翻译;右边是传道书(King James版)的经文:
-
Objective consideration of contemporary phenomena compels the conclusion that success or failure in competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be commensurate with innate capacity, but that a considerable element of the unpredictable must inevitably be taken into account.
-
I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favor to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.
17. Omit needless words. (P32-P33)
即:省略不必要的词语
有力的写作是简洁的。一个句子不应该包含不必要的单词,一个段落不应该包含不必要的句子,原因与图纸不应该有不必要的线条和机器不应该有不必要的零件一样。这并不要求作者使所有句子都简短,或者避免所有细节,或者只在大纲中处理主题,而是每个单词都有作用。
许多常用的表达方式都违反了这一原则:
- the question as to whether 应改为:whether (the question whether)
- there is no doubt but that 应改为:no doubt (doubtless)
- used for fuel purposes 应改为:used for fuel
- he is a man who 应改为:he
- in a hasty manner 应改为:hastily
- this is a subject that 应改为:this subject
- Her story is a strange one. 应改为:Her story is strange.
- the reason why is that 应改为:because
“The fact that”是一个极其虚弱无力的词语,在任何句子中都不应当出现。
- owing to the fact that 应改为:since (because)
- in spite of the fact that 应改为:though (although)
- call your attention to the fact that 应改为:remind you (notify you)
- I was unaware of the fact that 应改为:I was unaware that (did not know)
- the fact that he had not succeeded 应改为:his failure
- the fact that I had arrived 应改为:my arrival
章节 IV 中的 case, character, nature 同理。Who is, which was,诸如此类也很多余。
- His cousin, who is a member of the same firm 应改为:His cousin, a member of the same firm
- Trafalgar, which was Nelson’s last battle 应改为:Trafalgar, Nelson’s last battle
由于主动语态比被动语态更简洁,积极陈述比消极陈述更简洁,规则14和15下给出的许多例子也说明了这一规则,示例:
Macbeth was very ambitious. This led him to wish to become king of Scotland. The witches told him that this wish of his would come true. The king of Scotland at this time was Duncan. Encouraged by his wife, Macbeth murdered Duncan. He was thus enabled to succeed Duncan as king. (51 words)
Encouraged by his wife, Macbeth achieved his ambition and realized the prediction of the witches by murdering Duncan and becoming king of Scotland in his place. (26 words)
18. Avoid a succession of loose sentences. (P33 - P34)
即:避免一连串松散句
这一规则特指某种类型的松散句子:那些包括两个从句且第二个从句由一个连词或关系词引导。作家可能会因为句子过于紧凑和周期性而犯错。偶尔的松散句子可以防止风格变得过于正式,并给读者一定的解脱。因此,松散的句子在简单的、非学术写作中很常见。危险在于数量可能太多了。
一个不熟练的作家有时会构建一整段这样的句子,使用连接词and,but以及不太常见的,who,which,when,where 和 while构成的非限制性从句。(见规则3)
The third concert of the subscription series was given last evening, and alarge audience was in attendance. Mr. Edward Appleton was the soloist, andthe Boston Symphony Orchestra furnished the instrumental music. Theformer showed himself to be an artist of the first rank, while the latter proveditself fully deserving of its high reputation. The interest aroused by the serieshas been very gratifying to the Committee, and it is planned to give a similarseries annually hereafter. The fourth concert will be given on Tuesday, May10, when an equally attractive program will be presented.
除了陈腐和空洞,上述段落的问题还在于句子的结构机械对称且单调。比较下面摘自E. M. Forster 的《Two Cheers for Democracy”中“What I Believe“一章的句子:
I believe in aristocracy, though — if that is the right word, and if a democratmay use it. Not an aristocracy of power, based upon rank and influence, butan aristocracy of the sensitive, the considerate and the plucky. Its membersare to be found in all nations and classes, and all through the ages, andthere is a secret understanding between them when they meet. Theyrepresent the true human tradition, the one permanent victory of our queerrace over cruelty and chaos. Thousands of them perish in obscurity, a feware great names. They are sensitive for others as well as for themselves,they are considerate without being fussy, their pluck is not swankiness butthe power to endure, and they can take a joke.*
(* Excerpt from “What I Believe” in Two Cheers for Democracy, copyright 1939 and renewed 1967 by E. M.Forster, reprinted by permission of Harcourt, Inc. Also, by permission of The Provost and Scholars of King’sCollege, Cambridge, and The Society of Authors as the literary representatives of the E. M. Forster Estate.)
一个作者如果写了太多松散句,应该重新塑造部分语句,以消除单调乏味。使用简单句、用分号连接的两个从句、两个从句组成的掉尾句,或由三个从句组成的的语句(松散句或掉尾句)来代替原来的松散句——以最能代表思想的真实关系为准。
19. Express coordinate ideas in similar form. (P35 - P36)
即:使用相似的形式表达并列的观点
这个原则,即平行构造的原则,要求内容和功能相似的表达在外观上是相似的。形式的相似性使读者更容易地识别内容和功能的相似性。我们熟悉的八福词体现了平行构造的美德。
Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for theyshall be filled.
技术不够精炼的作家通常违背这一原则,错误地相信变幻多样表达形式的价值。当重复一个陈述来强调它时,作者可能需要改变它的形式。否则,作者应遵循并行构造的原则,示例:
- Formerly, science was taught by thetextbook method, while now the laboratorymethod is employed. 应改为:
-
Formerly, science was taught by thetextbook method; now it is taught by thelaboratory method.
左边的版本给人的印象是作者犹豫不决或胆怯,显然无法或害怕选择一种表达形式并坚持下去。右边的版本表明作者至少做出了选择并遵守了它。
根据这一原则,冠词或介词在修饰一连串词时,要么仅在第一个术语之前使用,要么在每个术语之前重复使用。
-
the French, the Italians, Spanish, and Portuguese 应改为:
-
the French, the Italians, the Spanish, and the Portuguese
-
in spring, summer, or in winter 应改为:
-
in spring, summer, or winter (in spring, insummer, or in winter)
在一些特定的俗语表达中,一些词语需要一个特定的介词。当这些词语在组合结构中出现时,除非搭配的介词完全相同,否则就必须保留原本与之搭配的介词:
- His speech was marked by disagreement and scorn for his opponent’s position. 应改为:
-
His speech was marked by disagreement with and scorn for his opponent's position.
像 both, and
(二者都);not, but
(不是…而是);not only, but also
(不但…而且);either, or
(…或者…;要么…要么…);first, second, third
(第一,第二,第三)这一类的关联词组,也应该遵循跟上面一样的语法结构。许多违反这条规则的情况,都可以通过重新排列整个句子来加以纠正,示例:
-
It was both a long ceremony and verytedious. 应改为:
-
The ceremony was both long and tedious.
-
A time not for words but action. 应改为:
-
A time not for words but for action.
-
Either you must grant his request or incurhis ill will. 应改为:
-
You must either grant his request or incurhis ill will.
-
My objections are, first, the injustice of themeasure; second, that it is unconstitutional. 应改为:
-
My objections are, first, that the measure isunjust; second, that it is unconstitutional.
有人可能会问,如果你需要表达相当多的类似想法——比如说,二十个,怎么办?你必须写出相同模式的连续二十个句子吗?仔细研究,你可能会发现困难是虚构的——这二十个想法可以分组,你只需要在每个组中应用这个原则。否则,最好通过以表格的形式放置语句来避免困难。
20. Keep related words together. (P36 - P38)
即:将相关词语放置在一起
单词在句子中的位置是显示它们关系的主要手段。当单词放置不当时,就会产生混乱和歧义。因此,作者必须把意思上相关的词和词组放在一起,把那些不那么相关的词和词组分开。
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He noticed a large stain in the rug that was right in the center. 应改为:
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He noticed a large stain right in the center ofthe rug.
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You can call your mother in London and tellher all about George’s taking you out todinner for just two dollars. 应改为:
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For just two dollars you can call yourmother in London and tell her all aboutGeorge's taking you out to dinner.
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New York’s first commercial human-spermbank opened Friday with semen samplesfrom eighteen men frozen in a stainless steeltank. 应改为:
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New York's first commercial human- spermbank opened Friday when semen sampleswere taken from eighteen men. The sampleswere then frozen and stored in a stainlesssteel tank.
第一个例子左边的版本中,读者不知道到底是“the stain was in the center of the rug” 还是 “the rug was in the center of the room”。在第二个例子的左边的版本中,读者会想知道是什么“cost two dollars” —— the phone 还是 the dinner。在第三个例子左边的版本中,读者会同情那些被冻在不锈钢冷库中的十八个可怜的家伙。
作为规则,句子的主语和主要动词通常不应当被可以放到句首的短语或从句分开,示例:
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Toni Morrison, in Beloved, writes aboutcharacters who have escaped from slaverybut are haunted by its heritage. 应改为:
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In Beloved, Toni Morrison writes aboutcharacters who have escaped from slaverybut are haunted by its heritage.
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A dog, if you fail to discipline him,becomes a household pest. 应改为:
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Unless disciplined, a dog becomes ahousehold pest.
如上面左边的例子,插入一个短语或从句会阻断主句的流畅性。然而,当句子的流畅性只是被一个关系从句或者同位语所妨碍的话,那这种阻断也并不总是令人厌烦。有时,在掉尾句中,阻断是一种刻意的做法,为的是制造悬念。(参见规则二十二中的例句。)
在大多数情况下,关系代词应该紧跟在它的先行词之后。例如:
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There was a stir in the audience thatsuggested disapproval. 应改为:
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A stir that suggested disapproval swept theaudience.
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He wrote three articles about his adventuresin Spain, which were published in Harper’s Magazine. 应改为:
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He published three articles in Harper's Magazine about his adventures in Spain.
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This is a portrait of Benjamin Harrison, whobecame President in 1889. He was thegrandson of William Henry Harrison. 应改为:
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This is a portrait of Benjamin Harrison,grandson of William Henry Harrison, whobecame President in 1889.
如果先行词由一组词语构成,则关系词要跟在这组词语之后,除非这样做会造成歧义,示例:
The Superintendent of the Chicago Division, who
上面这句话不构成混淆,但下面这个例子:
A proposal to amend the Sherman Act, which has been variously judged
会让读者搞不清楚到底是“the proposal”还是“the Act” 被 “variously judged”。所以,必须把关系从句放到前面,变成:“A proposal, which has been variously judged, to amend the Sherman Act…”
与此类似:
- The grandson of William Henry Harrison, who 应改为:
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William Henry Harrison's grandson,Benjamin Harrison, who
名词的同位语可以放在先行词和关系词之间,因为这样的组合不会产生实际上的歧义。
The Duke of York, his brother, who was regarded with hostility by the Whigs
修饰语要尽可能地紧跟它所修饰的词语。如果存在多个短语同时修饰一个词语,那就必须妥善排列它们,以免产生错误的修饰关系。例如:
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All the members were not present. 应改为:
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Not all the members were present.
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She only found two mistakes. 应改为:
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She found only two mistakes.
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The director said he hoped all memberswould give generously to the Fund at ameeting of the committee yesterday. 应改为:
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On Tuesday evening at eight, Major R. E.Joyce will give a lecture in Bailey Hall on"My Experiences in Mesopotamia." Thepublic is invited.
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Major R. E. Joyce will give a lecture onTuesday evening in Bailey Hall, to whichthe public is invited on “My Experiences inMesopotamia” at 8:00 P.M. 应改为:
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At a meeting of the committee yesterday,the director said he hoped all memberswould give generously to the Fund.
从左边最后一个例子可见,当词语被错误地排列时,它是多么迅速地背离了原意。
21. In summaries, keep to one tense. (P38 - P39)
即:写概述时,时态要统一
在概述戏剧动作时,要用现在时。在概述诗歌、故事或小说时,也要用现在时;除非用过去时看起来更自然,那你也可以用过去时。如果概述用的是现在时,那么在此之前发生的动作要用现在完成时;如果概述用的是过去时,那么要相应地用过去完成时,示例:
- Chance prevents Friar John from delivering Friar Lawrence’s letter to Romeo. Meanwhile, owing to her father’s arbitrary change of the day set for her wedding, Juliet has been compelled to drink the potion on Tuesday night, with the result that Balthasar informs Romeo of her supposed death before Friar Lawrence learns of the non-delivery of the letter.
但是不论用何种语态进行概述,在间接引语或间接疑问句中,仍然要采用过去时态。
The Friar confesses that it was he who married them.
除了上面指明的那些例外情况,作者应该通篇使用一种时态。在不同时态之间摇摆,只会给人举棋不定和犹豫不决的印象。
在转述他人的话或者想法时,就像概述一篇散文或报道一个演讲一样,不要过度使用这些短语:he said,she stated,the speaker added,the speaker then went on to say,the author also thinks。在一开始,就一劳永逸地交代清楚:后续篇章都是概述,之后则不必再浪费笔墨反复告知读者。
在笔记、报纸、文学手册中,难免要做这样或那样的概述;而且对小学生们而言,用自己的话复述一个故事也是一项很有益的练习。但是,文学评论或文学赏析则要谨防陷入概述的误区。或许有必要专门用一两个句子表明所讨论的作品的主题或是开篇布局,或者引用大量细节来说明作品的质量。然而你写作的目标,必须是在证据支持下进行井然有序地讨论,而不是在通篇的概述中夹杂着零星地评论。类似地,如果讨论的范围涉及许多作品,那么作为一条规则,最好不要按照时间顺序单独探讨每个作品,而是从一开始就要针对所有作品给出一般性的结论。
22. Place the emphatic words of a sentence at the end. (P39 - P40)
即:将强调词语放在句末
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Humanity has hardly advanced in fortitude since that time, though it has advanced in many other ways. 应改为:
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Since that time, humanity has advanced in many ways, but it has hardly advanced infortitude.
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This steel is principally used for makingrazors, because of its hardness. 应改为:
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Because of its hardness, this steel is usedprincipally for making razors.
那些占据这个显要位置的单词或词组,通常是逻辑谓语,也就是句子中的“新”成分,就比如上面第二个例子。掉尾句的有效性在于它凸显了主句,示例:
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Four centuries ago, Christopher Columbus, one of the Italian mariners whomthe decline of their own republics had put at the service of the world and of adventure, seeking for Spain a westward passage to the Indies to offset theachievement of Portuguese discoverers, lighted on America.
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With these hopes and in this belief I would urge you, laying aside allhindrance, thrusting away all private aims, to devote yourself unswervinglyand unflinchingly to the vigorous and successful prosecution of this war.
句子中另一个显要的位置是句首。除主语外,置于句首的任何的句子元素,都因此被着重强调,示例:
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Deceit or treachery she could never forgive.
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Vast and rude, fretted by the action of nearly three thousand years, the fragments of this architecture may often seem, at first sight, like works of nature.
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Home is the sailor.
主语在句首出现,可能会起到强调的作用,但这并非仅仅取决于它的位置。比如在这个句子中:
Great kings worshiped at his shrine
对 kings
一词的强调,在很大程度上取决于它本身的意义以及与上下文的关系。若要特别强调句子的主语,则必须让它占据谓语动词的位置,示例:
- Through the middle of the valley flowed a winding stream.
最显要的位置恰恰在末尾这样一个原则,同样适用于一个句子中的单词,一个段落中的句子,以及一篇文章中的段落。
参考资料
- 《风格要素4》中译本目录及链接 :百年经典 The Elements of Style (4th) - 知乎 (zhihu.com)