Rituals Help Couples Decide the Destination of Their Relationship
爱情里的仪式感，真的重要吗？

Rituals such as anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, regular dinners together or even Friday movie night — are the glue that holds relationships together.

A new study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships suggests that the bonding glue that stabilizes relationships starts in initial dating phases.

When dating couples engage in rituals together, they learn more about each other.And those experiences serve as diagnostic tools of where the relationship is going.In other words, will the relationship be short-lived or long-lasting?

Rituals provide a unique time to review your partner and the relationship; you get to see a host of behaviors and interactions that might normally be obscured," explains Chris Maniotes, lead researcher of the study, “Some of the ways rituals affected commitment to wed with these couples was by altering their view of their partner, giving them a new perspective.”

Maniotes along with a research team in the Department of Human Development and Family Studies at the University of Illinois analyzed in-depth interviews with 48 individuals (24 couples) in the Southwest region of the United States.

Respondents were on average 23 years old and had been in their relationship for 2.5 years.They were randomly selected from a larger study examining commitment to wed in dating couples over a period of nine months.

As the researchers looked at the impact of rituals, they discovered commitment to wed could increase or decrease, depending on the nature of the interaction.Rituals can reinforce bonds and strengthen commitment, but they can also showcase conflict areas and make people less likely to see the destination heading towards marriage.

For example, holiday celebrations involving rituals could highlight interactions with extended family and provide a window into how people navigate through conflict.

"Rituals seem to really play a role in pausing and slowing down individuals, helping them take a better look at their relationship.They help them see, ‘this is who we are as a couple; this is who we are as a family,’"Maniotes said.

Rituals may not be the defining driver of where a relationship is going, but along with a constellation of experiences and behaviors it brings up important nuances that affect couples’ decision whether or not to wed.